Father’s Day

Father’s Day always brings mixed emotions to me as a father and as a son. This year, the three children who still live at home made today very special with some gifts that came from their heart.

Meagan and Katheryn both bought project kits so they could create their own handmade picture frames to hold photos they picked out for me. Jordan also created his gifts to me. He painted me an airplane and a baseball player with his #1 on the jersey. After spending so much time at the edge of a baseball diamond with him this summer it was an appropriate memento.

This Father’s Day was more special because I am going to be able to adopt Jordan, Meagan, and Katheryn. They have been my children in my heart for a long time now, but now the circle can be completed. I am thankful this has become possible. We didn’t think we would ever have that option.

One special thing I was able to do for Father’s Day was help Meg mail a gift to Julie’s ex-husband. I helped her burn a special CD, made a special trip to Wal-Mart to buy the proper envelope to keep it safe on it’s journey, took her to the post office to send it away and paid extra for express shipping to try to get her gift to him on time. She was so appreciative of that and I think we bonded just a little bit more on that day. I was happy to help her with that.

As I write this, it is 6:05 p.m. I haven’t heard from my oldest son and I’m starting to think I never will again. I’ve tried to reach him by cell phone and letter since Christmas and have heard nothing back from him. I gave my life to him and asked for little in return, but something seems to have turned him completely against me and that breaks my heart. I’ll keep thinking of him daily, loving him, and hoping that one day his heart with soften toward me.

And along with many sons who have lost their father, Father’s Day is bittersweet. I can reflect on the wonderful times that I was able to spend with my dad, but it also makes me think of all the times I missed with him. He never saw me married. He never saw my successes. He never met his grandchildren. I have to focus on the good or drown in the things we missed together.

But today has been a great day. I have four wonderful children and three of them are beginning their lives again with me. I hope I can give them the opportunities they need to succeed and look forward to watching them grow up and sharing our lives together.